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Ok, it’s almost been two months of you living with your roommate. Odds are either you or someone you know absolutely hates their roommate. He (or sh [but that’s th last time]) smells like vomit, keeps you up all night with their 80s hair metal, and drinks way too much. You would like nothing better but see him fall to his doom. Or broken leg if your one of those nice people. You’ve had it. Now, you can either find someone that would be willing to trade rooms with you, or just make the burden a little easier to bear with these Revenge tactics.

These tips are categorized into two levels of revenge. Choose wisely. Level two should only be used in extreme cases, like if your living with an angry Italian who thinks he’s better than everyone and flames you via Livejournal.com. Then level three is quite appropriate. But don’t forget, the roommate from hell also has access to this list.

Level One
"I'll have some sympathy so I don't get my ass kicked."

Take all his soap. Unless he’s already dirty, and wouldn’t mind showering without soap, then the prank would be on you.

Lock him out of the room when he goes to bathroom, then leave room. He’ll never need to know it was you.

Put a little shampoo into toothpaste. Let him wake up to a mouthful of soap in the morning.

Cut toe nails and put them in his bed. Harmless, yet gross.

Open up all his pens, take the ink thingy out of all of them

Cut the laces on his shoes, but not so it breaks. Just enough so that the next time he ties his shoes, he will be the one who breaks it.

Put tacks in his shoes.Or staples. Anything nice and pointy.

Stay up really late with all lights on. If he complains, blame homework.

Rip all his stuff off walls. Blame the RA. It was a “fire hazard.”

Rip the spacebar key off his keyboard. Or the enter key. Some key you know is used alot. Hell, rip them all off. Rearrange them. Paint over the letters. Jam a key in so everytime he tries to IM he winds up spamming. Go on, have a field day.

Download gigs of gay porn onto his computer. Hide it everywhere. Set is as his desktop. His screensaver. Print it and put it in his drawers. The more the merrier.

If he doesn’t have password set in windows, set your own. Become administrator, and take over. Be nice (if you want) and reset it when he’s not there a week later

Hit on his girlfriend constantly whenever she comes over.

Level Two

"REVENGE!!! I Demand REVENGE!!!"

Kool-Aid his bed. I thank my roommate last year, Katy, for this one. Get a couple packs of powder Kool-Aid, a flavor that matches his sheets (cherry for red sheets). Before he goes to bed, especially if you know he’s drinking that night, put a thin layer of Kool-Aid on the sheets. Make sure it’s not really noticeable. Then, pull the comforter back over the sheets. People sweat in their sleep naturally, so, the moisture in the sweat will wet the Kool-Aid and color his skin. Nothing like waking up blue and sticky.

Have sex in his bed. This one is pretty messed up if you ask me, but, if he deserves it.. Make sure its noticeable too though, leave a condom, etc.

Replace his vitamin pills with estrogen. Or, if it’s a chick, testosterone.

Put clear hand soap in his contact solution. Burn baby burn.

Delete his entire AIM buddy list. Restart the computer after done so. Say you saw computer crash and reset. AIM must have gotten messed up.

For the Computer Savvy
***Don’t do this if you don’t understand what you’re doing, or if your roommate is computer smart.***

Go into bios, set FSB to 10 instead of 133 or whatever. The computer will rrun slow to do anything.

Delete some .dlls or.vxds. No more sound/mouse/keyboard.

Destroy the services. Go to control panel, go to administrative tools, go to services. Right click on every single one. Select properties. Select disable in drop down box. That will seriously mess shit up. Badly. Changes won’t take effect until he resets computer. Let him do that. That way, it will look like its all his fault.

Well, that's it. Have fun, be careful, and if you're caught, remember, you never heard of maristonline. Also, if you have any other ideas, any other devious acts of revenge, feel free to email me them at meg@maristonline.com.

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Roomates

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	Ok, it’s almost been two months of you living with your roommate. Odds are either you or someone you know absolutely hates their roommate. He (or sh [but that’s th last time]) smells like vomit, keeps you up all night with their 80s hair metal, and drinks way too much. You would like nothing better but see him fall to his doom. Or broken leg if your one of those nice people. You’ve had it. Now, you can either find someone that would be willing to trade rooms with you, or just make the burden a little easier to bear with these Revenge tactics. These tips are categorized into two levels of revenge. Choose wisely. Level two should only be used in extreme cases, like if your living with an angry Italian who thinks he’s better than everyone and flames you via Livejournal.com. Then level three is quite appropriate. But don’t forget, the roommate from hell also has access to this list. Level One "I'll have some sympathy so I don't get my ass kicked." Take all his soap. Unless he’s already dirty, and wouldn’t mind showering without soap, then the prank would be on you. Lock him out of the room when he goes to bathroom, then leave room. He’ll never need to know it was you. Put a little shampoo into toothpaste. Let him wake up to a mouthful of soap in the morning. Cut toe nails and put them in his bed. Harmless, yet gross. Open up all his pens, take the ink thingy out of all of them Cut the laces on his shoes, but not so it breaks. Just enough so that the next time he ties his shoes, he will be the one who breaks it. Put tacks in his shoes.Or staples. Anything nice and pointy. Stay up really late with all lights on. If he complains, blame homework. Rip all his stuff off walls. Blame the RA. It was a “fire hazard.” Rip the spacebar key off his keyboard. Or the enter key. Some key you know is used alot. Hell, rip them all off. Rearrange them. Paint over the letters. Jam a key in so everytime he tries to IM he winds up spamming. Go on, have a field day. Download gigs of gay porn onto his computer. Hide it everywhere. Set is as his desktop. His screensaver. Print it and put it in his drawers. The more the merrier. If he doesn’t have password set in windows, set your own. Become administrator, and take over. Be nice (if you want) and reset it when he’s not there a week later Hit on his girlfriend constantly whenever she comes over. Level Two "REVENGE!!! I Demand REVENGE!!!" Kool-Aid his bed. I thank my roommate last year, Katy, for this one. Get a couple packs of powder Kool-Aid, a flavor that matches his sheets (cherry for red sheets). Before he goes to bed, especially if you know he’s drinking that night, put a thin layer of Kool-Aid on the sheets. Make sure it’s not really noticeable. Then, pull the comforter back over the sheets. People sweat in their sleep naturally, so, the moisture in the sweat will wet the Kool-Aid and color his skin. Nothing like waking up blue and sticky. Have sex in his bed. This one is pretty messed up if you ask me, but, if he deserves it.. Make sure its noticeable too though, leave a condom, etc. Replace his vitamin pills with estrogen. Or, if it’s a chick, testosterone. Put clear hand soap in his contact solution. Burn baby burn. Delete his entire AIM buddy list. Restart the computer after done so. Say you saw computer crash and reset. AIM must have gotten messed up. For the Computer Savvy *Don’t do this if you don’t understand what you’re doing, or if your roommate is computer smart.* Go into bios, set FSB to 10 instead of 133 or whatever. The computer will rrun slow to do anything. Delete some `.dll`s or.`vxd`s. No more sound/mouse/keyboard. Destroy the services. Go to control panel, go to administrative tools, go to services. Right click on every single one. Select properties. Select disable in drop down box. That will seriously mess shit up. Badly. Changes won’t take effect until he resets computer. Let him do that. That way, it will look like its all his fault. Well, that's it. Have fun, be careful, and if you're caught, remember, you never heard of maristonline. Also, if you have any other ideas, any other devious acts of revenge, feel free to email me them at meg@maristonline.com.
Roomates