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Roommates 3 - How to Be a Good Roommate

Because there's more to being a great roommate than wreaking major havoc on your roommate in the form of revenge, (an action we at MOL do not approve of) we have descided to compile this list of 15 ways on how to be a good roommate. Many of these methods are tried and true, we've done our fair share of time at Marist College, and know exactly what pisses people off. So read on, good roomie, and realize that you too, are a bad roommate (without our advice). This article is written from a roommate's perspective, so just imagine your current roommate saying this to you.

1. Shower. Often, preferably daily. Please.

2. Use deodorant and toothpaste. Also often, stinky.

3. Clean up Saturday night's vomit by Sunday morning at the latest. Saturday night is preferred. A night of drinking at Hatters is no excuse for the pile of plague you left behind in the doorway. There's Lysol in the closet.

4. Don't buy rodents for the room without asking the roomie first. Some people are petrified of cute tiny albino mice for some reason. Sorry Rachel.

5. Keep the drugs on the street. Nothing says fun-loving-roommate like walkin in on your roommate doing lines. Keep your habits on the street, I may be uncultured and intend to stay that way.

6. High fives after sex is great with your partner. High fives after sex with me as I try to exit the room is not.

7. Wait till your in the Townhouses to have a kegger. My side of the room isn't where the keg goes, no matter how long he (or she, but this is the last time) said he'd be out of town.

8. Be considerate at 3 am. Some of us like a GPA higher than 2.5, especially when we have class at 8 am.

9. Learn how to turn down your volume. We all know you know how to turn it up, but believe it or not, it can go down too.

10. Do your laundry. The best part of waking up is Folgers, not a baking mound of stink pie.

11. Leave his girlfriend alone. Hot as she may be, his eyes belong on her ass, not yours. And we don't care how southern you are, sweetie and hun aren't her names. Take your hospitality and eat it.

12. Beer bottle collections aren't collections. They're a raving menagerie of fly-attracting rubbish.

13. Hangers are for clothes. Not our floor, and especially not my side of the floor.

14. Mr. T impressions went out 10 years ago. The only fool you'll be pitying is yourself, especially when I'm done toenailing your bed.

15. Halo 2 is a game. It is not a way of life, no matter how high the volume or hour of the night.