Ok so you think you've mastered the art of navigating the dining hall. You've been brave enough to venture down the back side of the caffeteria and find that they actually have more food and seats back there. What draws most people to this back section is the small but always popular grill. The grill is home to a daily assortment of meat like products in the form of burgers. These burgers are usually served with potato chips and sometimes even french fries.

Now, for the first few weeks all seems well. Everytime you go to get a burger, you also get a side with it...which evidently will become your primary source of food (the burger itself is not edible in any form). However after time goes on, you begin to notice something. The guys working the grill tend to get a bit lazy on the sides. Every now and then you will go up and only get a burger when there is a perfectly good bowl of new french fries just sitting there. This is where things get tricky.

I was going to try to write this article without imposing racist themes in any way, however I now find that to be impossible. Reason being, if you are white, and even worse male... don't even think about getting french fries. You can ask, oh yea you can ask... but that won't get you very far. What it will get you is a very dirty look and a roll of the eyes as the burger guys sloppily toss the fries that fell out of the bowl, into your basket. Now suppose you are an African American student. You want some fries so you walk up and ask. Hey no problem, not only do you obtain good fresh fries but you also get a smile and usually a conversation.

Now one might think to himself that the burger guys are a tad racist. Maybe they look down on white people. Nope, thats not true at all. Suppose for example you happen to be as white as paper. Then suppose you are also six foot one with a killer body, big breasts, long brown hair, and glowing green eyes. Want some fries? Sure why not, the burger guys will be more then happy to oblidge.

So the lesson to be learned here is simple. After 3 weeks or so, the burger guys will stop serving the burgers with fries or the like. In order to obtain these fries, one must be either African American or a goodlooking girl. If you fall into the category of either a white guy, or just a really ugly girl... (which most of us do) don't expect fries or even a smile when dinner time rolls around.

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Navigating the Dining Hall


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