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Well, you finally finished off all the granola bars and orange juice that your parents gave you when they dropped you off at Marist. Time to head off to this thing called "The Dining Hall". Actually, it isn't as bad as you might think. It is possible to find good food that won't give you explosive diarreah and doesn't taste like feet... unless of course you go for breakfast.
One thing to look out for is recycled food. It's a common practice to take one day's main course, and serve the leftovers the next day cleverly repackaged as something else entirely. For example, if monday's meal was mexican stuff on a tortilla, you'll probably find the leftover tortilla shells being used as crust for "personal pizzas" the next day. They're slick like that. It doesn't neceserally mean it's bad... it just means that it's the second time that tortilla has been on public display, and probably tastes like it.
Another area that requires special attention is the grill. I don't know where they get the meat from, or how much money they're saving by using special dining-hall-meat, but it doesn't taste like meat. In a pinch, a fresh cheeseburger can do the trick, but usually you'll be left with a funny taste in your mouth and a sudden need to run to the bathroom half an hour later. Also, unless you are a cute girl, the two chef guys there will give you the nastiest fries they can find. Why? Because they hate you.
Now is a good time to get this out of the way; It's OK to go to the cafeteria by yourself. Chances are, you'll see somebody you know, sit with them, and also get introduced to the friends they came with. I mean, for chrissakes people... it's just dinner. You don't need to bring every person you know so you don't feel lonely while you eat.
Sometimes you're just not hungry, too tired, or too hung over to make a trip to the dining hall. No biggie... just make sure it's not on a theme day. Theme days come around about once a month, and they are not to be missed. They have special food, extra snacks, usually some sort of music, and best of all, the workers have to dress up. If you play your cards right, you might even get to take home a party favor. Yeah, it's a little bit depressing knowing that you're forking over two grand for a meal plan so that they can rent a cotton candy machine, but hey.. you might as well go see what it's all about. Oh, and if there are hats, make sure you ask one of the workers if you can have take it.
Eating dinner off of a tray might be something new for you, but it's not something to be afraid of. The dining hall is a great place to take a break, get away from your roommate's body oder and retarded taste in music, or just to grab a sandwich between classes. But remember... Soylent Green is People!!! It's PEOPLE!!!

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Dining Hall 2: Quest for the Fries

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	Well, you finally finished off all the granola bars and orange juice that your parents gave you when they dropped you off at Marist. Time to head off to this thing called "The Dining Hall". Actually, it isn't as bad as you might think. It is possible to find good food that won't give you explosive diarreah and doesn't taste like feet... unless of course you go for breakfast. One thing to look out for is recycled food. It's a common practice to take one day's main course, and serve the leftovers the next day cleverly repackaged as something else entirely. For example, if monday's meal was mexican stuff on a tortilla, you'll probably find the leftover tortilla shells being used as crust for "personal pizzas" the next day. They're slick like that. It doesn't neceserally mean it's bad... it just means that it's the second time that tortilla has been on public display, and probably tastes like it. Another area that requires special attention is the grill. I don't know where they get the meat from, or how much money they're saving by using special dining-hall-meat, but it doesn't taste like meat. In a pinch, a fresh cheeseburger can do the trick, but usually you'll be left with a funny taste in your mouth and a sudden need to run to the bathroom half an hour later. Also, unless you are a cute girl, the two chef guys there will give you the nastiest fries they can find. Why? Because they hate you. Now is a good time to get this out of the way; It's OK to go to the cafeteria by yourself. Chances are, you'll see somebody you know, sit with them, and also get introduced to the friends they came with. I mean, for chrissakes people... it's just dinner. You don't need to bring every person you know so you don't feel lonely while you eat. Sometimes you're just not hungry, too tired, or too hung over to make a trip to the dining hall. No biggie... just make sure it's not on a theme day. Theme days come around about once a month, and they are not to be missed. They have special food, extra snacks, usually some sort of music, and best of all, the workers have to dress up. If you play your cards right, you might even get to take home a party favor. Yeah, it's a little bit depressing knowing that you're forking over two grand for a meal plan so that they can rent a cotton candy machine, but hey.. you might as well go see what it's all about. Oh, and if there are hats, make sure you ask one of the workers if you can have take it. Eating dinner off of a tray might be something new for you, but it's not something to be afraid of. The dining hall is a great place to take a break, get away from your roommate's body oder and retarded taste in music, or just to grab a sandwich between classes. But remember... Soylent Green is People!!! It's PEOPLE!!!
Dining Hall 2: Quest for the Fries