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  To tell you the truth, it's been a while since we've actually seen the stack of literature Marist gives out on Opening Day, but we're pretty sure most of the information below isn't included. Some of this is Marist-specific, some may be useful to anyone new to the college experience.

  1. There's this little site called MaristOnline. While not promoted or funded by Marist, this student-run community website features forums, articles, events info, and photo galleries. Furthermore, MOL is your gateway to heaven, and all of your desires will be fulfilled there. Bookmark it.
  2. Information about campus clubs can be found at clubs.marist.edu. All clubs are required to have an informational website where you can find out more about each club.
  3. The brighter the color of you mail, the less you'll want to read it. White paper? Probably something you already know. Orange? A list of dates that will be changed anyway. Flourecent yellow? Instant trash (err... recycle).
  4. There's nothing going in between Home Depot and Staples and nothing ever will.
    5. Rumored to have been the future location of a supermarket, it's been vacant for years. Of course, Marist could end up buying the empty commercial space, install cash registers, and use it as a training facility for COM majors.
  5. You can change your first semester schedule. Sure, your first semester schedule is set for you by Marist, but you can add/drop just like anyone else. No one said it would be easy, but dropping a hella-hard class may be just what you need (see next bullet point).
  6. Priority points for your sophomore housing are based on your first semester's performance. Marist might have informed you a little about priority points, but did they tell you how important your first semester is? It counts, big time. So keep your grades up. This coinsides with...
  7. Your scholarship can die. Oh, isn't that nice, Marist is giving you a healthy scholarship to come here. They'll renew it for you every semester, providing you keep your average GPA high enough. Since your first semester's GPA is your average GPA, it is not the time to have a bad semester.
  8. Mice don't count as pets. Housing will allow you to have a pet in a tank. This means you can have things in water, such as fish.... or ameobas. Or aquatic mice, if you can find suitable scuba gear.
  9. DJM's presence usually = food availability. DJM -- our school president -- likes to stand at podiums a lot and use wordes such as: "vision" and "standards" and say things such as, "fine acadmeic institution" and "Cannavino is God." Anyway, if he's there, you can expect food to be there too. Sodhexo will usually provide it, but it won't be the standard cafeteria fare; it's stuff people in suits would be willing to eat. Plus the beverages are usually bottled, so you can snag some of that Dowser water for the dorm fridge.
  10. Foy townhouses are Old Townhouses. Marist has a habit of replacing common, obvious names with names that confuse people. Keep up the tradition and use the old names, that is, until they name a building after you.
  11. You have access to the mainframe. This may not be of much use to most students, but could be fun for those who want to poke around a bit on that big box that keeps Marist running (or not, depending). Download a 3270 terminal emulator, connect to vm.marist.edu, and can use your kaccount and password to login. Where you go from there us up to you.
  12. You have web space on Foxweb. Foxweb is where student webpages reside. 20MB of ad-free, unmetered space to do whatever you want with (within reason). It's also a useful place to upload schoolwork. Put down that floppy disk.
  13. The power sucks. It's not really that bad, but it can be annoying. Usually the electricity will go out just long enough for you computer to shut down. Get yourself a UPS (battery backup unit) instead of just a surge protector. If you wait for a rebate, you can get an APC or Energizer consumer-level UPS for $20, or about the same amount you paid Dell for that fancy powerstrip.
  14. There's a sewage treatment plant next to McCann. When the weather is hot, cold, or warm, you can smell its loveliness. Oh, and the smell is always worse by the freshman dorms. Kind of funny how that works out.
  15. Forwarding email is important. Everyone gets a YourFirstName.YourLastName@marist.edu (or YourFirstName.YourLastName#@marist.edu for class of 2009+) email account. This is where Marist will send email to you, including those breathtaking security advisory emails. So for those of you with another email account (AOL, Hotmail), it's a good idea to have your email forwarded to an account that you actually read.
  16. Sheahan is haunted. By a ghost. Her name is Shelly. She's rather nice, but also rather dead. More info.
  17. Most buildings on campus are actually crashed spacecraft. Strewth!
  18. Security almost never checks Beck lot, and only checks Sheahan/McCann at night. So for those of you looking to park without a permit (or with the wrong permit), here's your hot tip.
  19. You're not special. Oh, you (your parents) spend $28k per year to go here? Well so does everyone else. You do not get special privileges. You may not "borrow" a flat-panel monitor from the library. You may not park on the sidewalk.
  20. The 9th floor of Champ is about 15 degrees warmer than the 1st. Not that there's much you can do to change this, short of making friends on the lower floors.
  21. Cops watch for jaywalkers on Rt. 9. And Marist pays them to do it. So inadvertently, you're paying to give yourself that ticket. Don't be stupid. And don't think that getting hit by a car will protect you from getting ticketed; getting hit by a car is proof that you were jaywalking.
  22. Fern Tor is a wooded area north of Gartland. With squirrels and deer and pumas. Oh my.
  23. If you're going to sneak beer into the dorm, do it before 3pm. Security is on duty between 3pm and 6am, and their presence increases your chance of getting caught.
  24. People from other places talk funny. Sub, hero, hoagie or grinder? You will have countless conversations on this topic. You will also, in the course of other conversation pick up words such as "wicked", "hella", and "clutch." And you will scare your friends back home when you start using them.
  25. You may be charged for using the ATM in Donelly. This really depends on your bank. Some snooty banks don't like you using other bank's ATMs, and punish such ATM slutiness.
  26. Conficated beer goes to the firehouse. Because an exhorbitant amount of firecalls are from Marist property, security supplies the firemen with whatever cans or bottles they were able to snatch up. Kind of makes you wonder if the firemen would report at all if there wasn't for the beer. So whenever your party gets busted, look for this silver lining.
  27. Your advisor is useless. For most majors that is. Psych/Special Ed. is one exception. Most everyone else will likely have a happier time just figuring out their schedule by themselves, and then just popping into some random advisor's office to sign off. Your own advisor doesn't have to sign off, anyone in the department will probably be willing. Any advisor outside of the department will need to be bribed with candy before they'lll sign.
  28. Make sure you'll be a sophomore after your freshman year. Just because you finish two semesters doesn't mean your become a sophomore. Make sure that you'll have at least 30 credits, even if the Recoommended Program Sequence says otherwise. Having 29 credits in your 3rd semester sucks. You have to argue with Housing, with Security, and with the Registrar. So watch out.
  29. Get a minifridge. When it snows and they cancel school, the cafeteria can be unreliable. So if the Weather Channel is calling for 3 feet of snow, stock up on riblets the day prior. Hell, you don't even need a fridge for riblets; they'll keep just fine stacked up next to your computer for at least a week.
  30. You can buy a fridge for almost the same amount you can rent one for. Okay, maybe not a fridge with a stainless steel front, but one comparable to the one you're renting.
  31. Call maintenance a week before something breaks. It's not that the maintenance staff is bad, but they sometimes take their time getting to a job. So if a pipe in your room is leaking, better dial x2255 before the first drop of rusty water hits the floor.
  32. Not all security people suck. In fact, you may become friends with some of them. Oftentimes they're retired old people. Always say "hi" when you walk by and see what kind of reaction you get. The gaurds rotate buildings monthly, so if you are currently stuck with a not-so-nice one, you can look forward to the start of the next month.
  33. The Riverview lot dosn't actually close. It may as well be in the river. But since it is very on campus, it's generally safe, except for all those bastards who keep hitting parked cars. Just don't park near anyone with Jersey plates.
  34. You only get help moving in the first year. "Gee whiz, that sure was nice of the upperclassmen to help me move in." Well, that's the last time it's happening. Be prepared to move yourself in next time.
  35. The "Chef's Special" in the cafeteria really isn't that special. Unless you consider "special" to mean "the stuff no one wanted yesterday." These chef specials usually crop up on weekends. You've been warned.
And that about does it. We reccommend that you read the other feature articles available on MOL. They cover lots of other topics, and are more detailed than this bullet list.

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